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So what are we supposed to do about the national birth crisis among Black women?

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Black women and infants are 3 to 4 times more likely to die during pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum. Those numbers vary in different areas of the country. I have seen anywhere from 12x's to 36x's and the reason vary as to why.

Last year I attend an Infant Mortality Awareness Summit in Dallas, TX and to my surprise, the real reasons as to why there is a crisis was not even mentioned. I listened to the medical examiners speak mostly about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome being the number one cause. There was no mention of vaccinations or medical racism, which in my opinion would be the cause right along with stress. There was also a lot of discussion about preventing teenage pregnancies and other things that were not very solution-based.

We as birth workers hear about this birth crisis like a broken record, but what are we doing about it. No one is coming to save us, so we must save ourselves.

I am not going to overlook the large amount of women burying their babies and infants …

What happens to you when you put yourself first?

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In my early 20's, I was often called, "selfish" by my closet family members who were teenage mothers. I didn't become a mother and marry until my late 20's. I would jump up and go anywhere that I wanted to on a whim. I shopped when I wanted to, ate what I wanted, when I wanted. I didn't have to think about anyone else, but me.
Once I became a mother and wife, that all changed. I put the desires and needs of others before my own. Bad mistake. 
The saying is true, "You can not give from an empty cup". When you continue to withdraw from an empty bank account, the account becomes negative.
Over giving causes dis-eases. During my postpartum phase, I confided in a friend who also had recently given birth, about how I felt guilty whenever I ate alone or was away from my family for hours. She said, "I don't, I love it." In judgement, I felt that she was wrong, but then when I looked at my wardrobe, eating habits and overall happiness, I knew …

Why Doc

This past year, I've had to interact with the medical system more than usual. I was saddened with a loss of words for a while from negative experiences.

I had researched doctors in my area and acted on referrals. Yes, finally a sister md that would relate to me and my experience. She walked in the room filled, with my immediate family and our visit began. From my previous signed paperwork, she'd learned that I refused to consent to a blood transfusion. This doctor asked me, was I Jehovah's Witness. She bullied me with fear tactics that I could pass out because of a loss of blood due to anemia. When I tried to explain my reason, she instantly cut me off and began to talk over me.

Baby is getting a well check up by the Pediatrician. The doc directs his assistant to get ready to give my baby injections, I interrupt him and say, "I don't vaccinate". And there we go back and forth about until he says, "Now, you are a smart woman and even you, as an adult nee…

5 things that I learned from exposing "Chester, the child molester"...

Pedophiles are so common in our community that someone came up with a comical name for them. "Chester, the child molester." Well these child molesters have names and faces and we must expose them. Otherwise, they remain anonymous. When they are unknown, more people are subject to their abuse.

On social media, I exposed him and myself with details. I spoke with people on his side and my family about everything that had happened. It was not a surprise to many. They already knew and he even confessed to some inappropriate actions that he'd done to my sister. I wanted to confront him face to face, but he refused. My coming out was not meant to create a gossip session or be considered as another sexual abuse scandal. I wanted him and everybody to know that I still remembered what he did to me, and to warn parents to protect their children from sexual predators. It was a step of healing for me. It went further than what I could have ever imagined. These are the things that I l…

Black Breastfeeding Week 2017

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Black Breastfeeding Week was founded in 2013 by sistahs who felt the need and began to organize. Read more http://theleakyboob.com/2013/08/black-breastfeeding-week-interview-with-cofounder-anayah-sangodele-ayoka/



I heard about BBW a few years ago. Last year was the first time that I attended a BBW event. Early this year, I didn't hear any mention of events in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. I began to reach out to others in the birth industry and asked for collaboration. I did get others to speak, vend, volunteer and support the BBW events, but I ended up hosting alone and being the only sponsor. So again, all of the weight fell on me.

While this was the longest series of events that I've ever done in a short period of time, I did not feel the usual stress. Yes, there were sleepless nights, wondering about how everything was going to turn out, but I did not get the usual "emotional breakdown" that I experience right before an event. Too many talkers and not enough walkers. …

So what are we going to do now?

I try to stay in my lane and fight on my level. The slaughtering has been going on for thousands of years. Now, it can be seen on the television/internet and even live. The same pattern happens: Innocent men (mostly) and women are murdered. We cry, yell, pray, post on social media, march, protest, etc... The killer is clearly guilty and walks away free. We get angry. Then go back to living like no genocide is taking place. Well yesterday, today, it happened and tomorrow it will happen again.

So what are we going to do now?

We definitely have got to stop fueling these murders. It is not one police officer, but a whole system that wants to see black people exterminated. From the hospitals to the public schools shystem to the water supply. We cannot continue to pretend to be blind, deaf, and dumb. We are smarter than this. Even though every thing is against us, we will not give up. History clearly shows our intelligence and strength. Survival is in our DNA. Know thyself! Only, if we knew …

After the Abuse

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You may have been sexually molested, which is the same as rape, whether there was penetration or not. It is unwanted. This violent crime, robs the victim of their innocence. Our sexuality is sacred. The sexual organs are called, our "private parts" for a reason and are meant to be respected and honored.
It is happening everyday, somewhere in the world. Some tell immediately and others later. Maybe days, weeks or even years. An unknown number never tell. They block it out of their minds and internalize it. Others self - medicate and heal as best as they can. Sexual abuse is traumatic. Verbal, physical, and emotional abuse is also.
Abuse is experienced by a lot of us. How do we heal from it? We can not walk around here broken and halfway put together. The abusers must be dealt with and not made to feel like what they have done is okay. The victims must not be blamed and shamed, but handled delicately. You must tell somebody and not keep it a secret.

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